Come forth, dear readers. Let me entice you with a tale. An epic tale. Surely, I know no other tales to provide.
I have an enemy. He haunts our house. He probably eats our food when we're asleep. He is, to put it gently, a leather bound MONSTROSITY.
Ladies and gentlemen, lock up your kids. I only post the picture of this heinous creature in the hope that you will avoid its venom-spewing maw.
YOU CANNOT UNSEE IT.
My wife was given this lovely abomination for a christmas gift. And now, even as I type, the beast has its claws dug deep into her. I am fairly certain that one day in the near future me and the kindle will be hanging on for dear life over a crevice and my wife will sit in quiet contemplation over who to save. Pray. Pray dear friends that it is me.
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